Exclusive: The 2020 Democratic Platform

Washington, DC (AP) – The Associated Press has obtained an advance copy of the official positions to be endorsed in the 2020 Presidential and Congressional elections by the Democratic Party. The proposed platform includes a number of far-reaching legislative objectives:

• All firearms must be surrendered as part of voter registration.
• Social Security, Medicare, and other federal benefits will be given only to same-sex couples.
• Mandatory abortions after 22 weeks.
• The right to vote and run for office will be revoked from US citizens and granted only to illegal immigrants.
• Mandatory Spanish-language instruction for all schoolchildren to begin immediately; by 2030, all official government communication and forms must be conducted or issued in Spanish only.
• States that wish to receive federal funds as part of their budgets must agree to destroy one Christian church every week.
• Stop-and-Frisk to focus only on white people.
• Compulsory participation in Gay Pride events for everyone 18 or older.
• Elementary school curricula to include mandatory component on the benefits of Communism.
• Shariah law to be applied in all US appellate courts.
• Motion pictures and televised entertainment will be required to depict whites as evil and all other races as oppressed yet virtuous.
• All physicians required to prescribe marijuana for all patients.
• Deficit spending to be made compulsory at all levels of federal, state, and local government, and in households numbering at least one (1) person.
• Limits removed on number of residency permits issued to those arriving from Mexico.
• United Nations to be granted control of US armed forces deployed abroad.
• Schools required to distribute condoms to all students daily.
• Mandatory sex education classes to include mandatory sex.
• Tax rates to increase to 231% for anyone who ever reported capital gains.
• Daughters of the American Revolution to be declared hate group, outlawed, its members arrested and all contributors fined.
• September 11 to be declared Protect Muslims Day.