Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Exclusive: The 2020 Democratic Platform

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Democratic donkeyWashington, DC (AP) – The Associated Press has obtained an advance copy of the official positions to be endorsed in the 2020 Presidential and Congressional elections by the Democratic Party. The proposed platform includes a number of far-reaching legislative objectives:

  • All firearms must be surrendered as part of voter registration.
  • Social Security, Medicare, and other federal benefits will be given only to same-sex couples.
  • Mandatory abortions after 22 weeks.
  • The right to vote and run for office will be revoked from US citizens and granted only to illegal immigrants.
  • Mandatory Spanish-language instruction for all schoolchildren to begin immediately; by 2030, all official government communication and forms must be conducted or issued in Spanish only.
  • States that wish to receive federal funds as part of their budgets must agree to destroy one Christian church every week.
  • Stop-and-Frisk to focus only on white people.
  • Compulsory participation in Gay Pride events for everyone 18 or older.
  • Elementary school curricula to include mandatory component on the benefits of Communism.
  • Shariah law to be applied in all US appellate courts.
  • Motion pictures and televised entertainment will be required to depict whites as evil and all other races as oppressed yet virtuous.
  • All physicians required to prescribe marijuana for all patients.
  • Deficit spending to be made compulsory at all levels of federal, state, and local government, and in households numbering at least one (1) person.
  • Limits removed on number of residency permits issued to those arriving from Mexico.
  • United Nations to be granted control of US armed forces deployed abroad.
  • Schools required to distribute condoms to all students daily.
  • Mandatory sex education classes to include mandatory sex.
  • Tax rates to increase to 231% for anyone who ever reported capital gains.
  • Daughters of the American Revolution to be declared hate group, outlawed, its members arrested and all contributors fined.
  • September 11 to be declared Protect Muslims Day.
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Written by Thag

September 28, 2013 at 9:31 pm

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