Mightier Than The Pen

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Posts Tagged ‘fitness

SHOCKER: Sir Mix-A-Lot Reveals He Hates Big Butts

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Sir MixaLotLos Angeles, February 4 РThe artist best known for trumpeting his attraction to women with ample backsides stunned fans and followers by admitting he does not actually care much for large derri̬res.

Sir Mix-a-Lot, whose 1992 hip-hop song “Baby Got Back” sold more than two million copies in short order following its release, spoke in praise of the Callipygian feminine form, famously declaring in the lyrics that the stereotypically “perfect” chest, waist, and hips measurements of 36, 24, and 36 inches, respectively, held no appeal for him unless “she’s five-three.” However, the 42-year-old Seattle native disclosed recently that he finds nothing especially attractive about a woman with “a round thing.”

“I wrote the song as a dig at women’s fashion magazines that only wanted to showcase anorexic girls,” said Mix-a-Lot. “But it’s time to come clean: I don’t much like large-butted women. It was all for show.”

Fans and admirers have long praised Mix-a-Lot for standing up for the attractiveness of less-than-fashion-model thinness, and it remains unclear what impact the new revelations will have on his popularity. Whether or not the artist’s disclosure is sincere, his two-decade-old declaration of desire for derrière-endowed dames has been firmly entrenched in popular culture, says entertainment industry commentator Anna Conda. “Dozens of other artists and celebrities have either covered, sampled, parodied, or otherwise referenced ‘Baby Got Back,’ she explained.

Indeed, as Ms. Conda noted, the twitterverse is rife with references to the song, making it likely that Mix-a-Lot’s actual lukewarm feelings toward generous fundaments will prove irrelevant. “It’s as powerful a social commentary and criticism as it is because of what it exposes, irrespective of the ingenuousness, or lack thereof, behind it,” she said of the song. “Trenchant social commentary is one of the bedrocks of hip-hop.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some buns to attend to,” she said.

Written by Thag

February 4, 2015 at 3:42 pm

Dept. Of Douchebaggery Extends Shirtless Jogging Season

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WeinerWashington, DC (AP) – Secretary of Douchebaggery Anthony Weiner introduced a new douchebag timetable this morning, announcing that jogging or otherwise engaging in public athletic activity while shirtless would be federally sanctioned through November and December, and resume in March. The previous schedule endorsed the behavior only from May through September. The new policy also includes updated provisions for aggressive hitting on members of the opposite sex, for selfish assertion, and for treating wait staff with open disdain.

In explaining the decision, Weiner cited feedback from douchebags across the country complaining that they have been unable to adequately foist their egos on those around them without more accommodation from the government. The Department wasted no Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Thag

November 6, 2013 at 3:40 pm

Man On Day 2 Of Diet Disappointed With Results So Far

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evolutionary dietDecatur, Georgia (AP) – Local resident Glen Woods has been restricting his intake of fatty and sugary foods since Monday morning, and asserts that he remains unimpressed by his weight loss to date.

Woods, 38, had noticed in recent months that his waistline, belly, and backside regions had grown more ample than he remembered, and resolved to undertake a diet and exercise routine to help him drop the excess mass and volume. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Thag

October 8, 2013 at 3:20 pm