Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Blind Date Not Buying “40 Is The New 20” Argument

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40-20New York, February 12 – Gregg McIntyre, 40, of White Plains, has so far been unsuccessful in convincing his blind date, Kathy Chen, 21, that his biological age can be redefined based on cultural criteria.

Invoking the saying, “Forty is the new twenty,” McIntyre had hoped to overcome Ms. Chen’s opposition to the gap in their ages – and thus the presumed overlap in their cultural touchstones. Her reaction to seeing him in person has involved an escalating exchange of expectations, accusations, and defensive remarks, setting an awkward tone for the beginning of what both had hoped would be a pleasant, if not necessarily romantic, evening.

“I don’t get it,” wondered McIntyre. “People have been saying for years that age is just a number and that forty is the new twenty – so why Kathy won’t accept that and move on to the fun stuff is beyond me.” He suspects that her real objections, which she is too embarrassed to voice, involve his appearance or some other outward attribute. “She probably doesn’t want me to see her as shallow,” he reasons.

Ms. Chen disagrees. “When you fill out a form you give accurate information,” the cum laude Columbia graduate insisted, referring to the online personal details that led each of them to agree to see the other. “Go see whether the IRS agrees with such asinine math,” she retorted.

The first six minutes of the blind date have been otherwise tense and stilted, with each participant only barely willing to give the encounter more time. The initial two-minute exchange of accusations and guardedness gave way to a brief conversation about a place to get a drink, but both McIntyre and Chen admit they no longer see the potential they had anticipated only minutes before.

“At least I’m no longer nervous,” said McIntyre. “Last night I hardly slept forty winks.”

“Wait, what exactly do you mean?” asked Chen.

At press time, the two were fiercely arguing over what you see is what you get.

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Written by Thag

February 12, 2014 at 3:22 pm

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