Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Arafat’s Widow: Israel Also Used Polonium To Kill Jesus

with 30 comments

Arafat

Either Suha or Yasser. We could be more specific, but then we’d have to poison you with radioactive polonium.

Lausanne, Switzerland (AP) – In the wake of forensic evidence that the radioactive element Polonium-210 was present in some of the personal effects that late Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat had with him when he died, his widow Suha Arafat sees the hand of Israel in this and other deaths of prominent icons as far back as 2,000 years ago.

Arafat died in 2005 at age 75, after a period of physical deterioration and a set of mysterious symptoms that sent him to a French military hospital. Speculation and rumors surrounding the cause of death eventually led to the exhumation of Arafat’s body from its Ramallah resting place for further testing. The University of Legal Medicine in Lausanne, Switzerland, tested a number of the personal effects he had with him when he died and found elevated levels of the radioactive isotope of Polonium, infamously instrumental in the assassination of former KGB agent Alexander V. Litvinenko.

Mrs. Arafat and many other prominent Palestinians were quick to point a finger at Israel, who had been surrounding the leader at his Ramallah presidential compound when his health took its final turn for the worse. Various accusations have named Israel as the perpetrator by various means, including infecting Arafat with AIDS, killing him with a laser, or aerating the presidential compound’s air with various lethal pollutants.

Complicating the forensic picture is the fact that the quantity of Polonium-210 necessary to kill someone in 2005 would decay too fast to be detectable in 2012 or 2013, and that Arafat’s physical symptoms prior to death were not consistent with radiation poisoning. That information, says Mrs. Arafat, makes the accusation all the more nefarious: that Israel covered up its involvement in the assassination by masking her late husband’s symptoms as something else.

But Suha Arafat went even further, charging that Israel was also behind a number of other assassinations by similar means through the centuries, beginning with a Palestinian leader named Jesus in the first century CE. Jesus was framed by the Jewish authorities in occupied Palestine at the time, resulting in a death sentence. However, Mrs. Arafat claims that the commonly accepted accounts of Jesus’s death by crucifixion are simply a cover story for the more sinister truth: that Israel killed him with Polonium-210 and disposed of the body to destroy the evidence. In fact, when they went searching for the body mere days after Jesus’s death, possibly to perform a forensic examination, investigators found that it had been removed.

If true, such a theory would bolster Mrs. Arafat’s other contentions regarding Israeli involvement in the deaths of such prominent figures as Archduke Franz Ferdinand, whose 1914 assassination sparked the First World War. Conventional wisdom has it that Ferdinand was gunned own by a Serbian nationalist, but conventional wisdom has been unaware of Polonium-210 until recently. Additionally, that war accelerated the breakup of the Ottoman Empire and facilitated the eventual establishment of the state of Israel, a fact that casts a suspicious light on Israeli behavior and motives leading up to that point. Polonium was discovered in 1898, the same year as the Second Zionist Congress.

What’s more, the Israeli leader who agreed to hand over some occupied territory to create the autonomous Palestinian Authority under Arafat in 1993, Yitzhak Rabin, was assassinated in 1995 by an Israeli named Yigal Amir, the last two letters of whose name in Hebrew have the numerical value of 210. Official accounts and widely circulated video of the murder show Amir using a handgun to shoot Rabin, but as in other historical examples, the conventional version of events must be dismissed when an accusation of sinister Jewish or Israeli involvement arises.

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Written by Thag

November 7, 2013 at 3:38 pm

30 Responses

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  1. Hah, thanks for the amusing read.

    Adam Lauria (@adamlauria)

    November 8, 2013 at 5:45 pm

  2. with this big imagination,Arafat’s widow must start writing stories for children =D

    Cassie

    November 12, 2013 at 12:28 am

    • Or satire. Hint hint.

      Thag

      November 12, 2013 at 6:49 am

    • Well that settles the argument. Obviously it was the Polonium and eggs for breakfast. Nothing like fried Polonium and scrambled eggs.

      David Hersch

      November 12, 2013 at 9:29 pm

      • Jesus had eggs. Hmm. Kippers and loaves/eggs…

        Thag

        November 12, 2013 at 9:31 pm

  3. VERY ACTIVE IMAGINATION AT WORK THERE…. other than that… absolutely no words…

    JT

    November 12, 2013 at 5:06 am

  4. And the World is flat Mrs Arafat!

    Kay

    November 12, 2013 at 8:23 am

  5. oh c’mon! who’s going to believe the story!

    adriana

    November 12, 2013 at 9:06 am

    • As you can see from the other comments, quite a few people.

      Thag

      November 12, 2013 at 12:57 pm

  6. maybe mr’s arafat should say why she stole milions and milions of dollars from the palestenian people so that see could live a very rich lifestyle in europe insted of bullshiting everybody

    blah

    November 12, 2013 at 11:48 am

      • Maybe you should check the other articles on this site before assuming this one is anything but satire.

      Thag

      November 12, 2013 at 12:58 pm

  7. Prove it! Have to find Jesus’ body first. If he returned to heaven, this will be a really tall order. At least those that find the Polonium affected body will gain “glowing” testimonials.No wonder the Arabs want to kill off the Jews- they must have been pretty clever to bump off Jesus 2,000 years ago with an element that the rest of the world would take many centuries to discover. They just can not stand people that smart.

    High Treason

    November 12, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    • Smart Jews? No one will ever buy that.

      Thag

      November 12, 2013 at 1:29 pm

  8. Sewer Arafat was there at the time and anyone that says she wasn’t just needs to look at her face it is easily 2013 years old. By the way was Polonium around then – just asking.

    JayCeeme

    November 12, 2013 at 8:02 pm

    • It was invented by the Zionists in 1898 and sent back in time.

      Thag

      November 12, 2013 at 8:41 pm

  9. I bet arafats wife did him in. After all – she got $10 billion dollars from his estate when he died.

    Ruth milstein

    November 13, 2013 at 1:49 am

    • Couldn’t be. That scenario wouldn’t involve evil Jews. A least not explicitly.

      Thag

      November 13, 2013 at 7:07 am

  10. This is madness. Arafat’s widow needs a psychiatrist. Her hatred for the Jews will destroy her like her compatriots.

    Arthur-Regis David Odidika

    November 13, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    • Did you also take “A Modest Proposal” with this little salt?

      Thag

      November 13, 2013 at 1:20 pm

  11. what’s your source?

    Hafz

    November 13, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    • The same as all my other articles. Click around and figure it out.

      Thag

      November 13, 2013 at 1:29 pm

      • just asking because it seems like you’re the only one making that assertion

        Hafz

        November 13, 2013 at 1:45 pm

        • I like how you call satire an “assertion”. Is that some sort of newspeak? By the same token, you probably think, after reading this – http://wp.me/pSXPz-1Bh – that there really is a Department of Douchebaggery.

          Thag

          November 13, 2013 at 1:49 pm

          • haha shit 🙂 alright i guess next time i’ll definitely have a look at the other articles first 🙂

            Hafz

            November 13, 2013 at 1:54 pm

  12. Mixing Mrs Arafat’s claims with all your fiction and nonsense does not weaken her claim which is almost self evident

    Joseph Shoman

    November 14, 2013 at 1:12 am

    • The only thing here that’s self-evident here is your comical earnestness.

      Thag

      November 14, 2013 at 6:53 am

  13. Typo: “was gunned own by a Serbian nationalist”

    Ron Barak

    November 14, 2013 at 6:55 pm


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