Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Wall St. Broker Can’t Land Dream Job Picking Fruit Because Of Illegals

with 4 comments

migrant workersNew York (AP) – The debate over immigration reform attained added urgency today when securities investment broker Wayne Stockton, 50, of Bronxville, NY, announced that he was unable to pursue his lifelong desire for a career in seasonal fruit harvesting because migrant illegal immigrant workers would work for far less.

Stockton, who handles trades for stock and bond investors totaling at least $50 million each day, has struggled to find a rural employer who can meet his wage demands. The Lexus-and-BMW-owning father of two must earn at least $100,000 per month to meet basic expenses, and has been unable to generate offers for hourly wages that would net him even $400 per month.

“I’ve got my kids’ college tuition to worry about,” he noted, referring to Ashley, 17, and Ried, 15, who are expected to attend Yale over the next few years. “Then there’s landscaping – do you have any idea how much it costs to hire a team of Mexicans to mow my lawn and do some basic gardening?” He also cited the expenses surrounding health care, automotive maintenance, family trips abroad, weekend Maui getaways, and live-in domestic help. “How am I supposed to afford all of those basic necessities when I’m being priced out of the grape-picking field?”

Stockton began investigating a career in migrant agricultural work several years ago after discovering the simple joys of California sunburn and dehydration risk while on vacation in Napa Valley, a center of grape harvest and wine production. “We went on a day trip to one of the vineyards, and we got to pick fruit for a whole half hour, right there, side-by-side with the actual workers,” he recalled. “I couldn’t talk much with the workers, because my Spanish isn’t what it used to be, but I just loved it – the camaraderie, the calm weather, all of that. And I thought, ‘I could do this for a living.’ Well, it turns out I can’t, because those undocumented foreign workers are willing to work for a fraction of what I can afford to accept. It’s as if they don’t have to live.”

Stockton is not alone in similar frustrations. “We’v been seeing an upswing in inquiries lately,” says Ardent Biggett of the executive recruiting firm Koch Brothers. “Men who have developed an attachment to the American way of life, of working their way up to the top from the rung just below that, are increasingly denied a chance to earn gainful employment because illegal foreign workers are basically stealing their jobs.”

Biggett sees a racist component to the issue: nearly all those who have sought his services are white males, a demographic glaringly unrepresented among the fruit pickers.

“It’s clear we need immigration reform,” he asserts. “What has politics as usual done for us? Overspending, record deficits, raised debt ceilings, amnesty for illegal immigrants, and eleven tax increases.”

“Wait, I take that back,” he said. “That’s actually what happened under Reagan.”

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Written by Thag

November 4, 2013 at 2:28 pm

4 Responses

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  1. LOVE.

    Susan L Daniels

    November 4, 2013 at 4:41 pm

    • Yes, but can love be monetized? Asking for a friend.

      Thag

      November 4, 2013 at 5:20 pm

      • Depends. Sex can, of course. But, love is above all else an intangible, and therefore worthless to types like this guy 😉

        Susan L Daniels

        November 4, 2013 at 6:26 pm

        • Shares of Google are also intangible. You can Google it.

          Thag

          November 4, 2013 at 7:33 pm


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