Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Appendix Has Inflamed Elton John Removed

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Elton JohnMonaco (AP) – Facing a growing threat from the development of an Elton John around it, an appendix has had the musician surgically removed. The surgery took place two weeks ago in Monaco.

In recent weeks the Elton John tissues in the vicinity of the appendix had become inflamed, and antibiotics became necessary to keep the John from causing further, possibly irreversible or fatal, damage to the appendix. Surgeons performed the operation after the regimen of medications had forestalled the immediate danger.

The appendix characterized the growth of the multiple Grammy Award winner as a “ticking time bomb” that posed a mortal threat. While the danger was very real, however, surgery to remove such parasitic entities from appendixes are exceedingly routine, and no complications were reported in this case.

As a result of the successful operation, the appendix has been spared having to go with an attached Elton John to the ceremony granting the singer the Brits Icon Award, where it would risk exposure to perilous levels of glurge, hyperbole, flattery, shallowness, gossiping, and vanity.


Written by Thag

August 14, 2013 at 11:38 pm

One Response

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  1. Another corker. Well played sir.

    Sean Smithson

    August 15, 2013 at 12:07 am

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