Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Not To Be Outdone By Weiner, Other Candidates Send Lewd Photos, Messages

with 4 comments

Weiner2New York, July 25 (AP) – Concerned that the latest revelations of Anthony Weiner’s sexually explicit online behavior have given him a publicity advantage, other prominent candidates for New York City Mayor are publicizing their own indiscretions.

Former Congressman Weiner resigned from his seat in the House of Representatives after being caught sending suggestive pictures to a woman other than his wife, in 2011. After a public apology and an attempt to rehabilitate his image, Weiner declared his candidacy for mayor. This week, he admitted to more recent indiscretions involving text messages.

City Council Speaker Christine Quinn, considered the leading candidate, soon confessed to reporters that she routinely traffics in inappropriate online images and videos. “And I’m a lesbian, which should make this tidbit even juicier,” she said at a press conference today.

Joseph J. Lhota

Joseph J. Lhota

MTA Chairman Joseph J. Lhota, as well, posted at least two dozen erotic photos of himself on his campaign’s Facebook page in an album he titled, “Get a Lhota These.” Remarks attached to the photos suggested they were taken over a period of eighteen years, and most recently last month, apparently an attempt to establish that Mr. Lhota’s extensive documentation of his deviant online behavior extends back years and was not simply a reaction to the attention given to Mr. Weiner.

Public Advocate Bill de Blasio, also campaigning to succeed Mayor Mike Bloomberg, did not release any photos or texts, but made known to reporters that he specifically visits Las Vegas to partake of legal Nevada prostitution, and that he has been a proud subscriber to several online pornography sites for years, and before that, an avid consumer of print media in the same vein.

City Comptroller John C. Liu also made a valiant attempt to demonstrate his irresponsible use of the internet by inviting, via Twitter, prominent officials and media representatives to participate in what he termed, “Liu-ed acts.” Given Liu’s reputation as conservative in his personal habits, the initial reaction to the tweet has been skeptical. “It doesn’t seem sincere to me,” said New York Times correspondent Alison Leigh Cowan, who has been covering this aspect of the mayoral campaign. “But I must say I’m intrigued and flattered to be included, so I’ll probably attend and make my personal assessment afterwards.”

220px-CatsiJohn A. Catsimatidis, the grocery store billionaire, leveraged his corporate and retail clout to display offensively sexual images of the candidate in the windows of his Gristede’s supermarket chain. Between posters touting tomatoes for $2.99 per pound and a special on pork loins, Catsimatidis is easily identified in enlarged photos of the man in suggestive poses with multiple partners of both sexes. A warrant has been issued for his arrest, leading Cowan to suggest that the added publicity of such a development could only help Mr. Catsimatidis, who has been trailing in the polls.

“What Weiner – and Elliot Spitzer, for that matter – have proved is that getting yourself on the map politically actually becomes easier if you have a sexual scandal or two under your belt,” she said, apparently without a trace of irony. Spitzer, the former NY governor, resigned after reports of his visits with prostitutes while in office. He is also running an election campaign, for City Comptroller. Catsimatidis, said Cowan, is banking on a similar dynamic with his own candidacy, which could only benefit at this point on the campaign trail.

Whoever wins, says Cowan, will be the one who proves they are proficient at screwing many people at once, preferably 8.3 million of them.

 

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Written by Thag

July 25, 2013 at 1:06 pm

4 Responses

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  1. You call this satyr?

    David Shaffer

    July 25, 2013 at 1:28 pm

    • I’ll have to pole the readership to find out.

      Thag

      July 25, 2013 at 1:29 pm

  2. Do you really want a Jim Kramer lookalike like Luna Lhota running t5his town?

    Lhota Is Luney

    August 3, 2013 at 9:26 pm

    • What I really want is to watch from afar as the most entertaining candidate wins.

      Thag

      August 3, 2013 at 9:29 pm


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