Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Attractive Woman Angry At Being Ticketed Instead Of Let Go With Warning

with 2 comments

Nance, demonstrating the hair toss that inexplicably did not work on Trooper MacCarran.

Nance, demonstrating the hair toss that inexplicably did not work on Trooper MacCarran.

New Paltz, New York (AP) – Violet Nance, 26, of  Schenectady,  expressed her displeasure today at receiving an actual speeding ticket. All of Ms. Nance’s previous brushes with highway speed enforcement have resulted in a flirtatious exchange with the policeman or trooper, ending with the latter letting Ms. Nance off with just a warning.

Ms. Nance, a graduate student at the State University of New York at Albany-Rensselaer, was traveling north on Interstate 87 at 75 miles per hour, or ten mph over the speed limit, when State Trooper Scott MacCarran signaled her to pull over. Trooper MacCarran approached Nance’s 2013 Ford Focus ST and requested her license and registration.

According to Ms. Nance, she opened with a careless toss of the hair and a shy smile, her lustrous auburn locks almost obscuring one eye. Trooper MacCarran seemed not to react as she had expected, and proceeded to interrogate the driver regarding her speed.

Shifting social gears, Ms. Nance cocked her head to one side and laughed, a move that almost invariably causes men to smile and lose interest in everything but retaining her attention. Trooper MacCarran, however, seemed more professional than any other law enforcement official she has ever met.

“He was no-nonsense, all, ‘The speed limit is 65 here, ma’am,’ and ‘I’m going to write you a ticket.’ What the hell?” she said. “Since when does a guy ignore my looks and focus on something else?”

“Is it a training thing?” she wondered. “Do NY troopers have to go through some sort of romantic desensitization program? This changes everything!”

“What am I going to do?!” Nance exclaimed, noting that her adherence to the rules of the road has all but disappeared since she discovered, at age 16, that her looks would get her out of almost any trouble. Despite involvement in four accidents between ages 18 and 23, witnesses and law enforcement officials consistently sided with her even when the objective facts of each incident placed the fault squarely on Nance’s attractive shoulders.

The student also flirted her way out of six speeding tickets during both high school and undergraduate studies at SUNY Buffalo, where she led the cheerleading squad. On two separate occasions Ms. Nance used her wiles to secure a higher grade  from male professors than she deserved, taking care to wear tighter or more-revealing clothing then usual in preparation for those encounters.

At press time, Trooper MacCarran was returning home to New Paltz, where his husband had dinner waiting.

Written by Thag

July 21, 2013 at 2:16 pm

2 Responses

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  1. Enjoy my pain Violet. Enjoy it well.

    Trent Lewin

    July 21, 2013 at 6:16 pm

  2. This is hilarious. My first time getting pulled over I got a speeding ticket and was upset too, thinking that my charming good looks and the fact that I was near tears would get me out of it. It didn’t.


    July 22, 2013 at 10:19 pm

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