Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Inflation Worries As Bird In Hand Now Worth Three In Bush

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3 birdsWashington, DC (AP) – Confidence in the American economy remains an uncertain proposition in the short term, according to a Federal Reserve report released today, which singled out as an indicator the fact that a bird in the hand, for years holding steady at two, is now worth three in the bush.

While increasing inflation is not in itself a negative indicator, as it is associated with an active, growing economy, the specific economic sectors featuring inflation indicate different things. In this case, according to economist Alvin Cliche, any significant changes in the aphorism sector is cause for concern.

“You don’t want people having to adjust their use of hackneyed phrases because of inflation – that could disrupt all sorts of communication and economic activity just gets too chaotic,” he explained.

Cliche cited the precedent of the First World War, which broke out after double alliances became triple and a single entente developed two more facets. Twenty million people dies as a result.

To make matters worse, when the First World War itself experienced numeric inflation, it could no longer sufficiently resolve the issues tearing apart Europe, until it became the Second World War, leading to the deaths of perhaps 40 million more.

More recently, the first Bush presidency, from 1989-1993, came to an end, but the negative impact of its policies on the voters’ psyche was diluted by inflation and made the American public unable to retain the lesson, necessitating a second Bush presidency from 2001-2009. While the first Bush got the US involved in only one major conflict that ended in a matter of weeks, the second Bush oversaw the invasion of two countries and left them in no better shape after years of occupation.

In other arenas, Cliche pointed to the declining significance of athletic achievement since Major League Baseball expanded into three divisions in each league from two, exacerbating an earlier split into two.

Other economic indicators are holding steady or showing gradual improvement, so the impact of the shifting bird in the hand value may be limited, especially of the other indicators can make up for the slack, according to Spent Mohr of the Goldman Sachs investment firm. He noted the instance of Jack Sprat still eating no fat despite the overall expectations of American indicators to feature a steady increase in fat consumption, as well as the economy’s overall capacity to make waste without consuming any of its precious haste.

“I wouldn’t get too worked up about the birds in the bush at this point – it could just be the exception in an otherwise healthy economic picture,” he cautioned. Other mitigating factors in the global economic scene include the road to St. Ives featuring a man with only five wives, and nice guys finishing sixth instead of seventh.

“I’d only start to worry if we saw a second Clinton presidency in the making,” he said.


Written by Thag

June 19, 2013 at 4:18 pm

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