Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Four Moderately Annoying Things WordPress Doesn’t Tell You

with 13 comments

mehYou’ve been pouring out what passes for your soul into your blog and are wondering why, despite your, uh, creative efforts, your material has somehow not fired the public imagination and made you famous, rich, and an object of near-religious veneration. Or perhaps you have yet to experience the crushing disappointment of a masterpiece ignored, but wish to prepare yourself for the inevitability.

We’re good for the latter bit. In no particular order, here are some of the frustrating features of the WordPress blogging platform:

Useless Referrer Stats

SubmarinesIf you’re really into SEO and the search engine referrals help you, you’re probably not reading this right now. And you probably should get a life. For the rest of humanity, even if the stats worked properly they would be of limited use, if any. Do I really need to know that someone reached my blog by searching for some random phrase that happens to occur on a post I wrote back in 2011?

Compounding the annoyance is the near certainty that no actual humans are performing 99% of these searches. And that if I perform the same search, my blog doesn’t even show up in the results. This one is not just annoying, it’s mystifying, because there seems to be no earthly reason for a bot to manufacture search terms in order to leave a nonexistent trail.

WordPress Doesn’t Count Views Through Their Site In Your Stats

invisibleLet’s say your content is good enough that another WordPress blogger – we’ll call her Stacy – decides to subscribe to your blog. Stacy will be informed every time you make a new post, and if the news moves her to do so, will click through to it. Great! But you have no idea that’s happened unless Stacy comments or Likes your post (more on that below). WordPress doesn’t care to let you know that the people who care about your content the most, the ones who have actually registered interest in what you have to say, have visited.

This blog has almost 350 subscribers. That’s almost as many people whose gaze you avoid on a typical walk from one New York City avenue to the next. Or the number of times a professional baseball team performs manual crotch adjustment in a typical nine-inning game. And while we harbor no illusions that anywhere near every single one of those lovely subscribers – and they are a lovely bunch, if a bit reticent – sees all the posts we make, WordPress does not alert yours truly to the fact that these folks – have we mentioned they’re lovely? – have done so. Makes audience management a bit pointless.

Ah, but if your content is good enough they should be expressing that in visible ways, right? Not exactly. Which brings us to:

llama carcassWordPress “Likes” Are About As Useful As A Rotting Llama Carcass

If all you want is to feel good that someone has found your content worthy, the WordPress Like can provide those warm fuzzies. So maybe a taun-taun carcass. If you’re like most people, however, warm fuzzies don’t cut it. You want attention. Credit. You want it known that others have liked it. There’s got to be a way of making a Like visible to the subscribers of those other subscribers. You know, the way a Like on Facebook becomes visible to the friends of the one who did the liking.

There’s No Alert When A Post Has Been Shared On Social Media

like sadnessYou can keep track of which of your posts have been shared on Facebook, LinkedIn, or any of the other online substitutes for an actual existence, but you have to track down on your own whether that’s happened, and it’s not very illuminating. We, for one, would love to receive an alert of some sort when a share happens, since we are, just as you, an attention whore. Just as WordPress can alert you instantaneously that MarmiteGlutton33 has liked your post about your guinea pig’s ingrown toenail, it should be able to alert you when someone has gone one better and actually shared that content with an even larger circle of readers.

It might also be nice to know who did the sharing, if their privacy settings allow that information to be conveyed. We’re not holding our breath on that one. Especially if it’s MarmiteGlutton33. Good grief.

************

That’s what we find annoying about this platform. At least they got rid of the yodeling with every page load.

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Written by Thag

May 13, 2013 at 8:22 pm

13 Responses

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  1. I didn’t just click on this — I actually read it. Question — if I go to the root address (ending at .com) which has on it your most recent, say, 5 posts. And I scroll through them, does any of them get a ‘hit’ or because I didn’t go to each one individually, none of them gets a hit.

    rosends

    May 13, 2013 at 8:39 pm

    • It registers as a single visit to the Home Page.

      Thag

      May 13, 2013 at 9:07 pm

  2. I had no idea that WordPress doesn’t count visits from blog followers. That could explain why some bloggers notice more likes than views on their blogs.

    List of X

    May 14, 2013 at 12:39 am

    • It could also be that Likes are randomly generated by WordPress to keep you from getting completely discouraged.

      Thag

      May 14, 2013 at 7:34 am

  3. Don’t forget the fact that a majority of followers are actually people trying to sell something… something usually vile. 🙂

    I lurk at times, but I appreciate your awesome sense of humor. Just in the off chance you don’t know.

    Katie Renee

    May 15, 2013 at 2:23 am

  4. Oh boy i’ve been thinking these things for such a long time! You nailed it! Another thing that really bugs me is that a person can view your entire blog in the reader, and it doesn’t count as a single view!! Most of the days i have more likes than views on my photos and well, it really annoys me.

    Diogo Pereira

    June 16, 2015 at 8:47 pm

    • Those are the primary reasons I’ve abandoned my daily blog and taken up a career in the more lucrative and fulfilling world of the International Zionist Conspiracy. GREAT cookies.

      Thag

      June 16, 2015 at 9:04 pm

      • Hahaha cookies is the only thing that matters in this world! That and money to buy more cookies! 😀
        I’m not going to abandon my blog but i’m not going to upgrade it anymore if this doesn’t get better!

        Diogo Pereira

        June 16, 2015 at 9:12 pm

  5. The llama carcass part made me do a spit take. I’m starting to get really tired of 6 or 7 likes and no views.

    eclestudio

    March 3, 2016 at 2:42 am

    • Llama carcasses would tend to have that effect, yes.

      Thag

      March 3, 2016 at 6:56 am


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