Mightier Than The Pen

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Federal Agents Find Weapons in Raided Gun Shop

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gun seizureAustin, Texas (AP) – Agents of the federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms raided a gun store in the downtown area of the Texas capital today, where they found a sizable stash of weapons, said an agency spokesman.

“The team entered the shop and found literally hundreds of guns lying there in plain sight,” said Walther Remington, the spokesman. “The proprietor clearly had no compunctions about displaying his extensive inventory of deadly weapons.” The shop owner was taken into custody but has not yet been formally charged.

Neighbors expressed little surprise at the turn of events. “The guy has been running the shop for almost twenty years,” said Mark Smann, who runs a nearby dry cleaning business. “People go in and out of there all the time, and everyone knows why.  It’s not like you can hide a high-powered hunting rifle in your purse.”

“What gets me is not that the guy has been selling guns basically out in the open for years and years,” said Sharpe Schuter, a retail manager at a clothing store down the street. “It took the Bureau this long to notice? That’s the surprising thing.”

It is not clear when the BATF became aware of the gun shop’s stash of weapons, or what prompted them to raid the establishment when they did. Remington claimed only basic knowledge of the case, but called the procedure routine.

“The Bureau’s mission is to prevent dangerous firearms from reaching the wrong hands. Anyone walking by the store could see the racks of deadly weaponry, and it would only be a matter of time before someone acquired one or more of those guns. The Bureau felt compelled to act, and discovered that the inventory of guns was even more extensive than we’d suspected.”

drugsThe episode comes on the heels of a similar incident last week in Florida, when the Drug Enforcement Administration seized thousands of pills, syringes and dangerous powders from a Miami Beach pharmacy. In that case, the pharmacy’s owner publicly admitted trafficking in the substances, and that doing so provided a comfortable livelihood. The DEA subsequently discovered hundreds of other such establishments in Florida, and the director voiced his suspicion that thousands more are active across the country.

Also last week, New York State authorities opened an investigation into the presence of large quantities of dihydrogen monoxide in its plumbing and sewage systems.

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Written by Thag

February 14, 2013 at 2:09 pm

5 Responses

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  1. If only the Congress hadn’t taken away their authority to do anything about all this great swag that they are finding…

    Lorna's Voice

    February 14, 2013 at 6:22 pm

  2. Wow I can hardly believe that they found guns in a gun shop! This government is really smart….

    Tyler Ski

    April 2, 2013 at 5:28 am

  3. There was nothing in this article to indicate the gun store wasn’t a legal store. Of course there are guns and ammo in a gun store. Why was there a problem?

    The second story talked about a pharmacy in Miami. A pharmacy always has pills, syringes are needed for insulin and other medications and many powders are used for compound prescriptions. Again they found expected things in the pharmacy that you would expect to find. The blurb was ambiguous. What was suspicious there?


    April 2, 2013 at 6:08 am

    • In other news, readers found satire on a blog consisting almost completely of satire.


      April 2, 2013 at 8:39 am

  4. Folks, Dihydrogen monoxide? H2O, Water found in the plumbing and sewage system? If the rest of the article wasn’t enough to tip you off, this should have been! Wake up!


    September 11, 2013 at 10:29 pm

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