Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Malignant Chàvez Surgicaly Removed from Tumor

with 5 comments

Chavez (AP). He was safely removed from a colon tumor in June 2011.

(Originally posted January 2012)

HAVANA, CUBA (Reuters) – Venezuelan diplomatic sources have reported that a cancerous tumor has undergone surgery in the Cuban capital to remove a dangerous Hugo Chàvez. According to unconfirmed reports, the Venezuelan president’s colon was threatening the tumor. The tumor has been incommunicado since the surgery, fueling speculation that Chàvez might still pose a danger to it.

Chàvez is not the first world leader to put cancerous colon cells at risk. In 1985, US President Ronald Reagan was excised from a polyp, and later that year had to be removed from cancerous skin cells on his nose. That surgery had to be repeated twice more when a malignant Reagan threatened other such skin cells.

In 1951, surgeons operated on a tumor in the lungs of Britain’s King George VI, hoping to prolong the growth’s life; its host went into remission and died several months later, guaranteeing the tumor permanent safety from His Highness. Similarly, in 1964 doctors successfully removed King Paul of Greece from a stomach tumor.

According to the World Health Organization, cancerous growths are at risk of harm from approximately one third of the human population, the vast majority of which never undergo treatment or surgery, especially in developing countries where the tumors do not have access to adequate medical care.

An intestinal tumor like the one rescued from Chavez (Reuters).

In the case of the Venezuelan President, the latter has obliquely accused the US government of infecting cancers with Latin American heads of state, a charge US officials have been quick to dismiss.

Organizations representing tumors have grown significantly and spread rapidly throughout the world, but have nevertheless come up short in rallying people to their cause. Critics accuse the organizations of devouring the meager available resources they manage to procure, with little to show for their efforts but a bloated network of cells throughout the world engaged in nothing but continued growth.

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Written by Thag

October 10, 2012 at 10:24 am

5 Responses

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  1. This is completely bent, and funny as hell. Poor Hugo. His tumour is raising a fuss just as he’s up for re-election.

    Trent Lewin

    October 10, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    • Fortunately for Venezuela, tumors are a growth industry.

      Thag

      October 10, 2012 at 3:53 pm

      • He has it coming. I would like to see an army of tumors marching down the street with missile trucks in tow. Launch away, I say.

        Trent Lewin

        October 10, 2012 at 4:01 pm

        • Hardly a surgical strike, sir.

          Thag

          October 10, 2012 at 4:02 pm

          • Oh boy… Love a good pun.

            Trent Lewin

            October 10, 2012 at 4:05 pm


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