Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Perry’s Racist Rant Prompts GOP Candidates to Follow Suit

with 2 comments

Rick "Negro-hater" Perry

Republican Presidential hopeful and Texas Governor Rick Perry declared Tuesday in an interview that he hates blacks and Latinos, and does not care what people think of him as a result. Following an expletive-laced rant for a campaign video, he added that Jews should be rounded up and sent back to Brooklyn.

Eager not to seem out of step with fellow Republicans, Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum followed with epithet-ridden tirades of their own, railing against homosexuals, Asians, Muslims and Socialists. The monologues were broadcast on Fox News and CNN.

Rick "Kike-killer" Santorum

Campaign analysts appear divided on what these developments portend. Some experts contend that the outbursts represent a shift in strategy among the leading GOP candidates, a shift that reflects the party’s rightward movement in general, and a conscious attempt to appeal to the party’s bigoted, narrow-minded base. Others see the rants as expressing a more honest, open engagement with the key issues as the candidates see them. A third opinion, though less commonly asserted, holds that the candidates have been sucked into a Vortex of Stupidity, a kind of alternative electoral dimension in which only the sensibilities of one’s closest friends are taken into account.

Mitt "Jesus, all three of us look basically the same, don't we?" Romney

In a telephone interview, political expert John King posited the first view, according to which Perry, Romney and Santorum are merely shoring up support among hardcore Republicans. As King explains it, “the GOP candidates are well aware that they can’t go around calling for curtailing the rights of certain minorities and expect to survive till November. They’ll have to start appealing to a wider base, and come March or April, you’ll start to see them rail against Canadians, the French and Cayman Islands bankers, so that their candidacies have a broader reach.”

Andrea Norton, a professor of Political Science at Stanford, disagrees. “I don’t think this is such a dark development, really. I think the honesty of these hate tantrums brings a refreshing quality to the political discourse that the American people hasn’t seen since Lloyd Bentsen said to Dan Quayle that the latter was ‘no Jack Kennedy’ back in 1988.”

However, Albert Schwartz, a commentator at Forbes.com, takes dimmer view, both of the implications for the campaign and of the candidates’ intelligence. “What we have here is not a failure to communicate. What we have here is a collection of idiocy so powerful it causes the brains of entire campaign strategist teams to cease functioning. The only way this will stop getting more and more ridiculous is the revelation that one of the candidates had a torrid affair with a gay Muslim communist goat. I give it five, maybe six weeks, tops.”

At press time, Donald Trump was primping for an interview in which he planned to announce that he has purchased the exclusive rights to the N-word.

Written by Thag

January 3, 2012 at 11:19 pm

2 Responses

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  1. They’re just fracturing the NASCAR voting block. Those people hate being so confused over who to vote for… 😉

    Lorna's Voice

    January 4, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    • At least they have the Mexicans to blame it on.


      January 4, 2012 at 3:34 pm

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