Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Devout Crustian Awaits Second Crumbing

with 5 comments

Patty Kaik is in many ways your typical Crustian: flaky with a passion for cheeses. But her devotion to the cause makes even many of her peers sit up and take notice.

Ms. Kaik began her confectionery from home as a sideline about ten years ago for Yeaster. Her rosary-water delights and psalter-water taffy proved so popular that she began receiving orders almost immediately in anticipation of Crispmas. Winter would be mostly quiet, but business picked up again before Goody Friday. The business brought her a modest supplementary income, but for her, it remained a labor of love.

In the last two years, however, demand for Kaik’s unorthodox indulgences has soared, as has her selection of products. Her Pontius Pie Plate has become so popular, in fact, that she had to spin off its production into a separate facility and wash her hands of its daily oversight. Her motto, In God We Crust, has gained currency almost as quickly as money has changed hands in her temple of heavenly wafers.

Kaik now has separate stations for the cross buns, instead of just the single area of her kitchen that once housed the operation. She confesses, however, that she feels guilty for not spending more time trying to convert more recipes to her liking. She once considered that her mission, but the sheer mass of products to make rendered that avenue closed. Kaik says she still bears the wounds from spreading herself too thin when business began to boom; fortunately, she received some piercing insight from a dear friend. “He just nailed it,” she remarked.

Competition remains fierce, chiefly from another local caterer, Pan Theist, with a clashing philosophy and eyes on the same market stigment. But Kaik is not worried: she has seen it rise.

Written by Thag

December 19, 2011 at 10:54 pm

5 Responses

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  1. Love,love, love it. Clever. I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Check my blog for the details.


    December 20, 2011 at 3:08 am

  2. Wow. You are in fine form today!


    December 20, 2011 at 3:53 am

  3. Puns. I love them. Especially when they’re not overdone or half-baked! 😉

    Lorna's Voice

    December 20, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    • You just drove my pun-meter to e-leaven.


      December 20, 2011 at 7:25 pm

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