Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

‘Occupy the Kitchen’ Protesters Make Specific Demands

with 7 comments

Inspired by the Occupy demonstrations taking place around the country, the children of Thag and Miggtha have staged a sit-in in the kitchen to protest what they say is unjust allocation of family resources.

The children demand a return to earlier, simpler times, when they always got what they wanted.

The children set up their encampment Friday afternoon and have remained there ever since, holding placards, chanting slogans and making speeches denouncing the concentration of power and control of junk food distribution in the hands of the parents. Other grievances include disparities in bedtime between children and parents as well as parental insistence on homework and chore completion as a condition for play dates and other leisure activities, while the parents themselves are hindered by no such restrictions.

“We know who’s got all the power – they’re the ones who make us shower!” was the slogan of choice Saturday morning. Ralph, the ten-year-old eldest child, explained in an interview: “Sometimes I just don’t wanna shower. It’s late, I’m tired, and [two-year-old] Jon pulled out all the dental floss into a big mess, so it takes me a long time to get a good piece to use. I’m tired and I want to sleep already.”

Thag and Miggtha have so far dismissed the protests as the activities of an ill-informed, misguided junior set. “Isn’t it cute how they actually set up a tent by themselves? They even made their own signs,” observed Miggtha, not visibly troubled by the developments.

A spokesman for Thag, who was unavailable – Miggtha guessed he was ensconced in his office working on yet another blog entry – declined to comment on recent events, referring reporters to an earlier statement that read, in part, “You may go back to your tent game when your homework is done.”

[Seven-year-old] Ernie held up that statement as an example of the very obtuseness that the children find so aggravating. “Are we going to let our parents ignore us?” he exhorted the assembled offspring. “If you treat me like a child, I’ll just keep on acting wild!”

Experts are divided on whether the Occupy the Kitchen protests have enough steam to carry them into the school week. The protests have so far remained peaceful, if voluble, and the authorities have not registered any complaints of disturbances or obstructions that would cause disruptions of the everyday routine in the area.


Written by Thag

October 24, 2011 at 10:18 am

7 Responses

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  1. That’s pretty good, I like that.

    Michael Cargill

    October 24, 2011 at 3:02 pm

  2. cute!


    October 24, 2011 at 3:52 pm

  3. Love this post! Seems like protesting is in the air. May the Force be with you. The slogan about “Shower Power” is too funny and too true. Great job! I hope the Freshly Pressed Overlord don’t overlook this one. 🙂

    Lorna's Voice

    October 25, 2011 at 12:26 am

  4. I loved it and sent to some of my “occupy” friends 😀


    November 23, 2011 at 10:17 pm

  5. Unemployed, living at home, an aversion to bathing, they have a firm grasp on the movement.


    October 16, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    • And they don’t even vote, the one bona fide act of democratic participation.


      October 16, 2012 at 11:05 pm

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