Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

The Idiot’s Guide to the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

with 8 comments



Peace The other side gives up and lays down its arms
Occupation A convenient focus for riveting attention away from the society’s other, more fundamental problems
Terrorism Any violent act perpetrated by the other side
Gross violation of existing agreements A violation committed by the other side
United Nations Gripping comic/tragic theater
Evenhanded broker A broker that more blatantly favors us
Martyr Any one of us killed in any encounter with any one of them, no matter the circumstances
Confidence-building measures A band-aid for a hemorrhage
Peace with security For our side, that is
Quartet Four too many cooks
War criminal A member of the other side’s political or military leadership
Torture Incarceration of any sort by the other side
Genocide What the other side wants to do to us
Jimmy Carter A toothsome idiot
Obstacle to peace The existence of the other side
UN Security Council Resolution No. ____ The most convenient justification for our actions
Unilateral Anything done without our side’s endorsement, no matter how many other countries are involved
Settlers The only truly representative Zionists

Written by Thag

October 23, 2011 at 1:30 pm

8 Responses

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  1. This is really good! I love your insight and your wit!


    October 23, 2011 at 5:02 pm

  2. Tragically, that just about sums it all up perfectly.

    Michael Cargill

    October 24, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    • Or comically.
      “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.” – Mel Brooks


      October 24, 2011 at 3:05 pm

      • Very true.

        My mate’s nan had her own saying about comedy that went something like “I would laugh to see a pudding roll”.

        It didn’t make any sense then and it still doesn’t.

        Michael Cargill

        October 24, 2011 at 3:13 pm

        • A number of years ago, “Dilbert” cartoonist Scott Adams solicited from readers submissions for new folk expressions. He published the ones that he deemed the best – and of course, as with most folk expressions, they defied comprehension. The only one I remember: “Well, paint me purple and call me Barney.”


          October 24, 2011 at 3:16 pm

        • Good old Dilbert.

          Just out of interest have you heard of David Thorne? His website is hilarious stuff – http://27bslash6.com/

          Michael Cargill

          October 24, 2011 at 3:40 pm

          • Thanks for the link – no, I hadn’t heard of him, but his stuff seems right up my alley.


            October 24, 2011 at 4:03 pm

  3. Underneath all that cleverness is a sad, sad truth.

    Lorna's Voice

    October 25, 2011 at 1:25 am

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