Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

The Idiot’s Guide to the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

with 8 comments

Term

Definition

Peace The other side gives up and lays down its arms
Occupation A convenient focus for riveting attention away from the society’s other, more fundamental problems
Terrorism Any violent act perpetrated by the other side
Gross violation of existing agreements A violation committed by the other side
United Nations Gripping comic/tragic theater
Evenhanded broker A broker that more blatantly favors us
Martyr Any one of us killed in any encounter with any one of them, no matter the circumstances
Confidence-building measures A band-aid for a hemorrhage
Peace with security For our side, that is
Quartet Four too many cooks
War criminal A member of the other side’s political or military leadership
Torture Incarceration of any sort by the other side
Genocide What the other side wants to do to us
Jimmy Carter A toothsome idiot
Obstacle to peace The existence of the other side
UN Security Council Resolution No. ____ The most convenient justification for our actions
Unilateral Anything done without our side’s endorsement, no matter how many other countries are involved
Settlers The only truly representative Zionists
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Written by Thag

October 23, 2011 at 1:30 pm

8 Responses

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  1. This is really good! I love your insight and your wit!

    whatimeant2say

    October 23, 2011 at 5:02 pm

  2. Tragically, that just about sums it all up perfectly.

    Michael Cargill

    October 24, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    • Or comically.
      “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.” – Mel Brooks

      Thag

      October 24, 2011 at 3:05 pm

      • Very true.

        My mate’s nan had her own saying about comedy that went something like “I would laugh to see a pudding roll”.

        It didn’t make any sense then and it still doesn’t.

        Michael Cargill

        October 24, 2011 at 3:13 pm

        • A number of years ago, “Dilbert” cartoonist Scott Adams solicited from readers submissions for new folk expressions. He published the ones that he deemed the best – and of course, as with most folk expressions, they defied comprehension. The only one I remember: “Well, paint me purple and call me Barney.”

          Thag

          October 24, 2011 at 3:16 pm

        • Good old Dilbert.

          Just out of interest have you heard of David Thorne? His website is hilarious stuff – http://27bslash6.com/

          Michael Cargill

          October 24, 2011 at 3:40 pm

          • Thanks for the link – no, I hadn’t heard of him, but his stuff seems right up my alley.

            Thag

            October 24, 2011 at 4:03 pm

  3. Underneath all that cleverness is a sad, sad truth.

    Lorna's Voice

    October 25, 2011 at 1:25 am


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