Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Even More Indications of Clueless Loser Blogging

with one comment

1. You find, upon checking your blog’s visitor stats, that exactly zero people have visited your blog today. This means:
(a) Everyone else’s internet connection is down.
(b) The manifest merit of your most recent work is far too much for the web to handle.
(c) Your enemies have conspired to deprive you of recognition for your creative efforts.
(d) The enemies of mankind have conspired to deprive the world of your apocalyptically awesome writing.

2. Bots that visit your site in order to leave a false footprint, gambling that you will click on the link they show, are evidence of:
(a) Artificial intelligence, since the bots clearly recognize  talent when they sense it.
(b) Users wary of being directly blown away by your Earth-shattering coolness, who therefore resort to scripts to visit your blog discreetly.
(c) A big break lurking just around the corner.
(d)  Your rivals scouting for valuable inside information on just how you pull it off, you avatar of amazing.

3. The proper internal reaction to comments criticizing your writing involves:
(a) Disbelief that anyone could misread your clear, plain-spoken sentences so wrongly.
(b) Shock that anyone who disagrees with your position has the intelligence to negotiate the comment submission routine.
(c) Security in the knowledge that anyone who fails to arrive at the same conclusion as you must have even worse visitor stats, or they wouldn’t be fishing for visitors to their site by commenting elsewhere, and no, that is NOT projection at ALL.
(d) Dismissal of the comment as evidence that WordPress’s spam filter is malfunctioning.

4. So-called friends who casually mention that they haven’t had a chance recently to look at your blog:
(a) Were sent by the Devil to test your control over your Fist of Death.
(b) Were sent by your enemies to lure you into getting arrested, thereby stopping you, at least temporarily, from continuing to favor the world with your crucial musings.
(c) Lack a soul.
(d) Deserve to be scratched up and dumped into the shark pool at Sea World.

5.  The online world’s preference for interactive content:
(a) Just means that hoi polloi will naturally stay away from your blog, which is great, because you only want the smart, discerning people to become your fan base.
(b) Cannot last in the face of your patently superior text-only content.
(c) Is merely a tool for someone with abilities in creating interactive content to discover your incredible blog and feel compelled to bring it to the masses.
(d) Proves your argument, maintained all along, that your adherence to a rigorous blogging schedule, and your ability to produce material of reliable quantity, demonstrates the inherent merit of your efforts, since nothing of lesser value could have lasted this long.

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Written by Thag

September 23, 2011 at 4:33 pm

One Response

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  1. I’m becoming a bigger fan the longer I read :p

    madstickynotes

    October 3, 2011 at 11:08 am


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