Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

You Call It a Bedsheet, But I Know It’s a Superhero Cape

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A follow-up to: http://wp.me/pSXPz-g5

Item

Purpose of Item According to:

Normal human Ten-year-old Six-year-old Four-year-old Two-year-old
Computer Computing; communication; work YouTube (The King’s Singers) YouTube (The Muppets) YouTube (Whatever anyone else is watching) Removing all the keys from the keyboard
Car Transport people, possessions Excuse for use of power windows Excuse for use of remote control Convenient setup for kicking Mommy’s back Convenient setup for pulling four-year-old’s hair
Pizza Nourishment Vehicle for delivery of toppings Justification for not eating anything that is not pizza Convenient setup for consumption only of the mozzarella cheese Face paint; hair dye
Oatmeal Breakfast; ingredient in cookies Excuse not to eat breakfast, cookies Excuse not to eat breakfast, cookies Excuse not to eat breakfast, cookies Hair gel
Bed Slumber Storage of books, toys Trampoline, jungle gym Toy car/truck parking garage Access to delicate,easily ripped window screens
Refrigerator Storage of perishable foodstuffs Browsing Jungle gym Place to sit and cool off Pavlovian stimulus for cries of “apple!” and “cottage cheese!”
Kitchen Preparation and storage of food; cleaning used food implements Place that suddenly ceases to exist when breakfast cereal bowl needs washing Default hangout venue Default hangout venue Pretzel procurement area
Schoolbag Transportation, storage of school books and supplies Invitation to two-year-old to empty, scatter contents to the winds Doormat Fashion accessory Randomly selected object that must be used in emulating older siblings
Bathtub/shower Bodily hygiene Acoustic experimentation with spray nozzle aimed at different surfaces Peep show customer impersonation Hydrodynamic experimentation with plastic bottles emptied over the side Toilet
Parents Source of emotional support, provision of basic needs Furniture Furniture Furniture Furniture
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Written by Thag

August 29, 2011 at 10:12 pm

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