Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

The AP Thinks You’ll Be Offended, So They Won’t Report It

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Yesterday the Associated Press reported that a Romanian dictionary publisher had finally acquiesced to demands that an anti-Semitic slur be labeled as offensive. But the AP declined to mention the epithet in question, as if the English-speaking world would suddenly adopt a Romanian slur when so many good, workable anti-Jew names are already available in English, and when it’s unlikely a native speaker of English would pronounce the thing properly anyway. Read the piece yourself and take note.

In related news, a Tennessee jury convicted George Norton, 36, of Memphis, for a crime. This was considered a coup for the local district attorney, who managed to convince the panel to convict without ever specifying the nature of the crime. Experts anticipate a tougher time for the prosecution when the sentencing phase of the trial begins next week, as juries use the heinousness of a crime as a factor in sentencing. Court sources report that the unspecified crime calls for a mandated legal minimum of six months behind bars of some sort, but is vague on the details.

In sports, a team from the East Coast beat a team from the West Coast in a game involving an object propelled by one side or the other in an attempt to score in some way, but the reporters at the scene couldn’t be bothered to mention the sport, the arena or the identities of the participants. There were apparently some advertisements involving athletic gear companies and beer, and some cheering took place at some point.

The Environmental Protection Agency cited four companies for violating government regulations, but would not disclose which companies, their locations or the nature of their violations. An EPA spokesman refused to comment when asked whether the companies themselves were aware of the enforcement effort.

President Barack Obama vetoed some legislation without bothering to check what it was, and Congressional leaders themselves were not certain, either, as none had actually checked what it was they had sent to the White House. Congressional records are vague on the matter, as the stenographers and other record-keeping functionaries had used generic and non-specific terminology in logging the proceedings surrounding the legislation.

Finally, Italian renaissance artist and sculptor Leonardo da Vinci has been credited with a newly discovered work. The thing, made of some material and about the size of some other things, will undoubtedly shed new light on whatever it is art history experts spend their time talking about, but frankly, if the reporters were diligent about doing their work, we might be able to offer more than some ambiguous notion of seemingly important events.

Oh, and in Romania, many media pundits blamed the Jidan for the hubbub.

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Written by Thag

August 11, 2011 at 10:02 am

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