Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Important-Looking Person Speaks from Behind Podium

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WASHINGTON (AP)

Somebody in a blue suit stood behind a podium with an official logo and made some sort of announcement, reported people who were gathered there for some reason. Also present were camera crews and a number of security personnel, whose presence emphasized the apparent importance of the announcement and the person making it.

The person making the announcement also took several questions from some of the assembled people following his scripted remarks. The questions were meant to elicit further details related to the subject of the announcement. Following the series of questions, the official thanked those present and left the room.

The announcement came after days of speculation on the part of serious-looking people on TV that such an announcement might take place, and if it did, what its effect would be. The speculation itself stemmed from a previous announcement several weeks earlier by a different official standing behind a podium with a different logo. The earlier announcement was deemed important enough by certain TV networks that its broadcast interrupted the previously scheduled showing of a program about grown men running into each other while wearing padding and helmets.

In the aftermath of the first announcement, well-dressed and well-groomed people were shown frowning with concern or speaking with authority on the subject of the announcement. In response to that announcement, a group of people gathered near a government building and held up hand-drawn signs. Many also shouted rhyming couplets with content related to whatever it was the announcement announced.

Experts remain divided on the significance of the latest announcement. “I’m not sure we’re seeing anything new here,” said a man in a blue suit and gray tie, who seems to have a reason to know about this. “My agency has been saying for weeks that we should expect this development.”

However, a different person, this one a woman in a gray pantsuit, glasses and a maroon scarf, said that the latest announcement portended a change in something she regarded as important. “What we’re seeing is nothing less than a complete reformulation of policy,” she insisted, although it remained unclear why her opinion carries more weight than yours or mine, or why anyone should care.

In the subsequent hours, TV shows again featured people talking about the topic of the announcement, and the amount of media coverage implied that it would have a major effect on society. Aside from the experts appearing on TV, however, few people exhibited awareness that such an announcement had taken place, let alone what impact the announcement would exert on their lives.

“What the hell is your problem?” said a large, bearded man in a flannel shirt, when asked what he thought of the announcement. The other assembled people echoed his sentiment and attempted to focus on a large screen at the end of the room, which was showing vehicles moving at dangerous speeds around an oval track.

At press time, it remained unclear whether there would be more announcements by people behind podiums with logos, but some people appeared on TV loudly demanding that other people renounce the announcement.

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Written by Thag

July 2, 2011 at 11:32 pm

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