Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Overlooked Belief Systems: Vandalism

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It came to pass on the first day of the grade of two, when Enuff, son of Thag, ruler of Krumph, and Nkkkh, daughter of Thag, awoke from their slumber. And the day was warm, and the bed sheet of Enuff did reek with fresh urine, for Enuff, though nigh upon six years of age, had yet to master the task of getting out of the bed in the middle of the night.

And Enuff said unto Nkkkh, “Let us go now to the pantry, where there be wafers and pretzels for us to pilfer.” And the matter found favor in the eyes of Nkkkh; but Ralph, the firstborn, followed them to the pantry, and they did not know that Ralph had followed them. And lo, they beheld the pantry contained not the pretzels and the wafers, for Thag and his wife Miggtha had stowed the junk food in a place the children would not seek, for such a conspiracy had been hatched before, if thou catchest our drift.

And Ralph, the firstborn, said unto Enuff and Nkkkh, “Is this not the thing I have said to you? For lo, many morrows hast thou striven to take from the pantry the wafers and the pretzels and the chocolate. Didst thou think that our father and mother would notice not?” And Enuff and Nkkkh did turn around in shock, and they could not face Ralph, for they were ashamed.

And Ralph said unto his brother and sister, “Fear not, for I shall not bring report of your deeds to our father or mother. Let us go now and adorn the walls of the stairwell with graffiti.” And the matter found favor in the eyes of Enuff and Nkkkh, and they went to procure markers and crayons with which to adorn the walls. But find them they could not, for Thag and Miggtha had foreseen that in the wee hours of the morrow, when decent humans doth still sleep, the children would hasten to apply colors that were not white to the white walls. For Thag and Miggtha were truly wise, and they walked in the ways of the upright, and tolerated not the shenanigans that thou, as a parent, do countenance. For thou art complacent and lazy, whereas Thag and Miggtha all but personify good parenting. But we doth digress.

And Nkkkh, the youngest, said unto Ralph and Enuff, “Let us use the new markers that our mother and father did buy for school.” The matter found favor in the eyes of Ralph and Enuff, and they opened the markers so carefully packed the night before. Enuff and Nkkkh did doodle on the walls by the steps: Nkkkh drew black balloons all along the steps, and Enuff drew black geometric shapes upon the wall on the second landing. Ralph did not partake of the graffiti project, for he did wish to avoid the wrath of Thag and Miggtha.

And when it came to pass that Thag arose from bed and did descend, he cried a great and bitter cry. And there was no dessert in the land of Krumph on that day.

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Written by Thag

April 7, 2011 at 1:14 pm

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