Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

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We want your experience at the Museum of Pointless Rules and Regulations to be as educational and pleasurable as possible. To that end, please adhere to the following guidelines:

1. While in general, dogs are permitted throughout the facility, yellow Labrador retrievers are off limits except when accompanied by a six-to-seven-year old boy wearing a black fedora.

2. Food and drink are not permitted outside the cafeteria, which is across the street at the Museum of the Litterbug.

3. Please address all museum staff members as “Claudia.”

4. Persons with disabilities have priority on the down escalators only.

5. Please dispose of all refuse properly: on the ground floor, use only the red bins; on the second floor, use only the green bins; on the third floor, use only the blue bins; on the fourth floor, use only the orange bags hanging from doorknobs, but not those hanging from hooks.

6. No talking will be tolerated inside elevators while the doors are closed.

7. Hats are permitted only on weekdays.

8. Employees must wash hands at random intervals.

9. WET PAINT signs have been placed on random surfaces; do not remove them.

10. Items may be claimed from the stroller and coat check room by presenting a claim ticket and whistling the theme from The Singing Nun. Claimants who cannot whistle will be required to do twenty-one (21) push-ups.

11. The Surrealism wing is closed for permanent renovations.

12. In case of fire, use only the fire extinguishers located on the north wall.

13. In case of other emergency, please alert Claudia and follow his instructions.

14. Cellular phones may be used inside restroom stalls only.

15. Guided tours are available on alternate Tuesdays ending in “y”.

The museum administration team wishes you an enjoyable visit.

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Written by Thag

January 16, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , ,

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