Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

How *Not* to Get Out of Doing Homework

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Ahem. You children out there might wish to tear off this page and keep it somewhere. Or whatever the electronic equivalent might be.

1. Pretending not to hear your parent tell you to do your homework will not get you out of doing your homework.

2. Getting distracted by things that normally do not attract your attention will not get you out of doing your homework.

3. Whining, “but I don’t liiiiiiiiiiiike doing homework!” will not get you out of doing your homework.

4. Doodling endlessly around the page margins will not get you out of doing your homework.

5. Eating your after-school snack eeeeeeeeeextra slowly will not get you out of doing your homework.

6. Feigning exhaustion will not get you out of doing your homework.

7. Instigating your siblings to interrupt you will not get you out of doing your homework.

8. Remaining in the same room as your noisy, distracting siblings, instead of finding somewhere quiet, will not get you out of doing your homework.

9. “Forgetting” to record your assignments, forcing your parents to call the teacher to verify, will not get you out of doing your homework.

10. “Forgetting” the relevant book at school, forcing you to call various classmates to obtain it, will not get you out of doing your homework.

11. Delaying your homework until after dinner will not get you out of doing your homework.

12. Taking a ridiculously long time to do the first part of your homework will not get you out of doing your homework.

13. Suddenly remembering that it’s bath or shower time will not get you out of doing your homework.

14. Clowning around will not get you out of doing your homework.

15. Listening to music, however edifying, will not get you out of doing your homework.

16. Asking myriad questions unrelated to your homework, however insightful, will not get you out of doing your homework.

17. A play date with your grandparents or anyone else will not get you out of doing your homework.

18. Reading will not get you out of doing your homework, but at least your parents won’t be so snotty about it.

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Written by Thag

December 8, 2010 at 10:46 am

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