Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Like Mr. Sinatra, I’ve Had a Few

with 2 comments

Things I never learned to do, and regret it:

Sew
Drive stick-shift
Calligraphy
One-handed push-ups
Play an instrument
Sight-sing
Speak more languages
Slam dunk
Stand up to bullies
Find fulfillment in well-paying paper-pushing
Program in useful computer languages

Things I never learned to do, and do not regret for a moment:

Skydive
Dislocate/relocate my shoulder
Crack my knuckles
Enjoy offal
Appreciate conceptual art
Watch political debates
Speak Klingon
Refrain from making faces at little kids
Gut a fish
Get $#%&faced drunk
Smoke
Dance like a snake on acid

Things I learned to do that I regret:

Run fingernails along a blackboard
Like  Hip-hop “music”
Root for the New York Mets
Enjoy bananas
Shoplift
Read the ingredients in orange soda (“glycerol ester of wood rosin” – What the hell?)
Attention whoring

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Written by Thag

November 9, 2010 at 8:15 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , ,

2 Responses

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  1. If you knew what “Offal” means in Klingon you’d probably have some regret.

    David Shaffer

    November 9, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    • If you knew what “regret” means in Thagese you’d have a double portion, with a peanut butter chaser.

      Thag

      November 9, 2010 at 9:42 pm


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