Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

O Key Dough Key

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I find it surprising that that “o” key decided to start sticking only last night. After all, I haven’t eaten peanut butter straight from the container while sitting in front of the computer since the end of July.

(Read that to mean that the last time I ate peanut butter straight from the container in front of the computer was at the end of July, not that I have been sitting in front of the computer since the end of July, but not eating peanut butter, although you might get a different version of events if you ask Mrs. Thag, who believes, not without justification, that I spend more time with the consarned machine than with her. This may be factually the case, but I also spend more time asleep in her presence than awake, which sounds insulting but is par for the course with couples who have what might be sympathetically called careers, except for last night, when I was too cold to get any good stretches of sleep in, but too lazy to do anything about it).

(Read that to mean that last night was the exception to spending more time in her presence asleep than awake, not that last night was the exception to our having what might be sympathetically called careers, considering that the reason I went to bed as late as I did was that I was working on a blessedly large translation job, such that I was actually engaged in career-related activity while not in her presence. All clear now? Good. Where the hell was I?)

The up side of this development is that I no longer need to sit around wondering what would happen if the “o” key started to stick; I now can make it part of my experience, not merely read about the phenomenon and file it away in some dry, intellectual corner of my brain (that’s where I keep all the factoids I use to impress chicks. You can see where it got me. The problem might be that the corner of my brain where I keep random, seemingly impressive factoids is up my butt).

Another positive element of the sticky “o” key is that if I ever wish to compose a tour-de-force kind of work, where none of the words in the book contain a specific letter (if you haven’t been paying attention, in this case the letter would be “o”), I can do so more easily. A more likely, and frankly less demanding course of action, involves leaving out the “o” and hoping it doesn’t screw up reader comprehension too much (“Fur scre and seven years ag…””). Come to think of it, if I can come up with phrases or sentences that become offensive or insulting as a result of a missing “o” I might have to pursue it.

But even though peanut butter has been eliminated as the culprit, other substances are in the lineup. Do you think bread dough might do it?

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Written by Thag

November 4, 2010 at 10:59 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , ,

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