Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Preoccupied Territories

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This blog has been officially equated with Israeli settlements.

Unnamed parties have determined that Mightier Than the Pen is “not constructive.” In diplomatic parlance, that term has been employed to denote, “We really, really, don’t approve of your policy, but for the sake of continuing relations we shall refrain from terms that express active hostility to it.”

Does this mean that the United States Department of State will now engage in shuttle diplomacy to mediate between us? That would be cool. Do I get to choose which figure has to do all the running around? Can I get John Boehner, just so I can mispronounce his name in the most obviously offensive way? Does it matter that the State Department is part of the executive branch and Boehner is a member of Congress, so the former has no authority over the latter? Are more than two people still reading beyond this point?

The other party’s official negotiating position is that I should be doing things that do not involve merely sitting in front of a computer, typing drivel so nonsensical a drunken camel could do it better with half the effort. I beg to differ, naturally, as camels have not been shown to be compatible with the WordPress platform. Yaks, perhaps, but that’s not the claim. And we all know about that monkey-Shakespeare experiment. What a disaster (in case you were wondering, that’s how we ended up with all those other WordPress blogs).

My position, on the other hand, is hunched over before my keyboard. I do some posturing occasionally, but it’s bad for my back. Fortunately, this blog has never been accused of arson aimed at mosques in neighboring blogs, nor of uprooting, cutting down or poisoning olive trees belonging to the blog next door. You might surmise, as my accusers do, that it’s only a matter of time before this non-constructive use of time gives way to the next level of objectionability, “obstacle to peace.” You are entitled to that opinion, naturally, just as you are entitled to root for the Boston Red Sox; just because you have a wrongheaded opinion does not mean you may impose that opinion on others.

But let us for a moment imagine the way this blog would appear if in fact it did constitute an obstacle to peace.

I can’t, actually. Since my readership hovers around the four mark, with occasional spikes up to the twenties when the spam comment and referral bots get aroused (you’re welcome for planting that image in your head), this oeuvre exerts negligible impact on political affairs. Even if I engaged in wanton inflammatory rhetoric, such as asserting that American economic aid to the Palestinian Authority is tantamount to supporting 9/11 terrorists – thus betraying a level of ignorance so profound as to stun inanimate objects – no one would bat an eye.

So let me be “not constructive.” It keeps me off the streets. Lord knows the streets are better off that way.

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Written by Thag

October 14, 2010 at 3:00 pm

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