Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

A Play on Words, the Way a Cat Plays with Its Prey

with 2 comments

When bananas appear in the news frequently, that makes them topical fruit.

The guy who painted the dogs around a poker table had the right idea, but he just ripped off MY idea, which, you should know, involved chickens, not dogs, and he even threatened violence if I said anything. Talk about fowl play.

Went to a bar last week. A group of crazy revelers in one corner happily downed pitcher after pitcher of the most godawful swill the place had on tap; genuine daft, I thought. Turns out each time they ordered, someone else would choose. I saw them go through their third, fourth and fifth daft picks. It was a birthday party for one of them, a retired bounty hunter named Bubba, who liked to work solo. The others were croaking his tributes and dubious achievements to anyone who passed by; it was a real Bubba fête.

I have so many people’s schedules of which to keep track, and there are plenty of great online tools, but even Google’s got its limitations. I need them to develop a utility that can filter out the irrelevant stuff: Google Colander.

A group of gullible American tourists paid oodles of money to be photographed with Charles and Diana back in the 1980’s, but for all their trouble ended up with pictures of humpbacks instead. Hey, said the agent, you got your prints of whales.

Maurice Sendak’s first attempt was actually a lot tamer than the final version: Where the Mild Things Are.

Wendy’s now serves its burgers on a kaiser bun, but not everyone knows that they experimented for a while with Mediterranean flatbread, only the baking process required a specialized baking dish that so frustrated Mr. Houk, the plant manager, that he exclaimed, “I hate, I hate, I HATE pita pan!”

We have some children’s furniture, including a table that becomes a bench when turned on its long side. Most of the time it functions as a bench; it’s only a periodic table.

The people across the street have this great storage system for their outdoor furniture: an electric conveyor belt that activates when the weather cools off in September-October; all they have to do is fold up the stuff and it gets stowed almost by itself in their autumn-attic.

Margaret Stanley and Stewart Dupp had a child just after Nomar Garciaparra made it into the big leagues. Inspired by the Boston shortstop’s story behind his name – his parents’ surnames were Garcia and Parra, and Nomar is Roman, his father’s name, in reverse – they unwisely charted their newborn son’s entire career by following suit. This week at the Improv, meet Mr. Stan Dupp.

Ever played hide-and-seek in a forest? Most tree trunks are too narrow to conceal people effectively. But Redwoods? Now there‘s a hiding place I can get behind.

The lady on the next street might not understand newfangled technology, but she has a blog. Of course, to get any content on it she must recruit her son. That must make him the poster child.


Written by Thag

August 10, 2010 at 10:11 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , ,

2 Responses

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  1. I’d like to share this.

    David Shaffer

    August 10, 2010 at 11:19 pm

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