Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Barnes & Noble Keeps Hanging Up on Me

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About nine years ago I began compiling a list of children’s book titles that you will never see. OK, so “began” is too strong a word; I came up with a list one day, and revisited the subject a few times over the intervening years. I suspect that we cannot exhaust this topic in one post, so expect another revisit or two soon, especially if my writer’s block comes back. Feel free to submit your own suggestions in the comments.

As a caveat, although the original list(s) included entries of a less-than-family-friendly nature, we shall refrain from such explicit titles here. You know, because we harbor so much concern for the young’uns.

Jeffrey Dahmer’s Fridge
101 Rhino Poop Recipes
Nobody Likes You Because You’re Just Ugly
It’s OK to Make Fun of Fat People
Freddy Krueger’s Big Book of Bedtime Stories
Curious George Pisses Off the Man in the Yellow Hat One Time Too Many
Loretta Lamaar Loves to Lynch!
If You Wet the Bed, the Monsters Will Get You
Life After Death: the Illustrated Encyclopedia of Maggot-Ridden Corpses
Start Your Own Booger Collection
Vegetables Will Kill You
Seat Belts Are for Losers
Yummy Blue Pills
Words that Will Get Mommy and Daddy Very Angry
Help Yourself to Some Scotch
Put the FUN in Fundamentalism!
Lawsuit Linda and the Roman Catholic Priest
Pickpocket Primer
Daddy’s Secret Stash
God Took Mommy Away Because You Don’t Deserve Her


Written by Thag

May 6, 2010 at 11:31 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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