Mightier Than The Pen

Making The World A Bitter Place

Ex Post Facked-O

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There seems to be some uncertainty out there among the twelve or so readers of this blog as to the nature of certain posts. The one about my escapades involving a roll of raffle tickets in particular seemed ambiguous in that regard, as emerged from a discussion today with the person most responsible for the existence of this blog.

Said interlocutor found that post laugh-out-loud funny, whereas I, the author of the post, happened to view the thing as the only one, so far, completely devoid of intention to induce laughter. Clearly, I do not understand humor.

I resolve, therefore, to establish some basic rules for determining whether a given post is funny. The presence in a post of one or more of the following indicates that the author has employed humor, and you must react appropriately:

1. The word “weasel”. Use of “weasel” in a post unmistakably indicates humor, or at least an attempt thereat.

2. ALL CAPS. CAN YOU THINK OF A SINGLE INSTANCE IN WHICH ON-SCREEN SHOUTING IS IN ANY WAY NOT LAUGHABLE?

3. Intentional mispeling. Self explantory.

4. References to the 1980’s sitcom Small Wonder.

5. Like a frog caught in an eggbeater, the use of jarringly inappropriate similes.

6. Bone-crushing exaggeration.

7. Gibberish. Who in their right mind rejunkel narb?

8. Uncomfortably intimate references to someone’s bathroom habits, such as the way you reuse dental floss.

9. More than one occurrence of the phrase, “rotting llama carcass” (I actually introduced that phrase to the internet back on January 18, 2006, but do I get credit? Noooo; Google doesn’t even find it, but I managed to dredge it up).

10. Use of the word “Noooo.”

There are other indicators, of course, and perhaps we shall devote another post to them. Just as soon as I get this rotting llama carcass out of the way.

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Written by Thag

April 20, 2010 at 5:12 pm

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